


Spring Cleaning

by Phantoms_Rose



Series: The Girl at the Piano [2]
Category: The Phantom of the Opera
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15142136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantoms_Rose/pseuds/Phantoms_Rose
Summary: It's spring time and the house is ready to be cleaned. But when Mari finds a dark secret Erik tried to keep hidden, what could possibly happen?





	Spring Cleaning

**Author's Note:**

> These are all original characters except for Erik and a few mentions of Madame Giry and the Persian.  
> There is another story between this and Girl at the Piano I just posted this one first. The other one will be coming soon!  
> The list of characters are: Mariette Astier, Robert Crépin, Mathieu Delcroix, and Emilie Lajoie,

"Goodbye Mari. I am going to rehearsal now,"  
"You mean your going to go give Delcroix a heart attack right?"  
"Funny," Erik said with a smile on his face knowing she was absolutely right. Delcroix did get freaked out a lot when he was around. That was why he liked Crépin better. He was more understanding. A light smile graced Mari's lips.  
"All right I will see you later," With that she took her apron off of the peg on which it hung in the kitchen and her nimble hands quickly tied a bow as Erik left and the door closed behind him. As he walked he noticed that the concert hall was in desperate need of a good spring cleaning, much like his home was getting today. He wasn't sure why but Mari enjoyed stripping their home one time year and cleaning it inside and out. As he walked he could hear someone coming by. He withdrew into the shadows, more out of habit than need, and waited until they had passed not even noticing his presence. He continued on and soon enough he was in the catwalk watching the entire rehearsal very carefully. The dancers were performing a ballet of some sort. He couldn't help much in the dancing part but the orchestra was there and he had some critics for their music. It was nice having time off and being able to do as he pleased. His life was going pretty smoothly at the moment, even his predicament with Christine* had worked itself out. She was now singing at the Remiséin Opera just outside of Paris and seemed to be happy from their still ongoing correspondance. Erik soon found himself in the catwalk of the theater with his notepad, pen, and ink. He inhaled deeply savoring the concert hall's smell. It was hard to describe but it was one that once you caught a whiff of it's scent, you would never forget it.  
***  
Mari began to clean as soon as Erik left. She found it much easier to clean when he wasn't home. She started with his piano. She wiped it down with a rag and organized the music on top of the closed lid for Erik to sort through when he got home. Even though their home was rather neat Mari still found things to clean. She cleaned for two hours and finally made her way to the kitchen. She began with the counter. She cleaned off a few flower petals from a boquet that Erik had gotten her for their anniversary just a week before. As she wiped the petals into the garbage, she saw one of the cabinets opened a few millimeters. Through this opening she could see cans and bottles haphazardly positioned so she decided to clean this next. She opened the cabinet and quickly caught three cans that were precariously placed on the edge of the shelves. She looked at the food and saw that is had gone bad. She pulled the trash can over to counter and threw the food away. She continued cleaning in this fashion until she got to the back of the cabinet. By this time she had a very small pile of about four cans of food that were still good.  
"I need to quit buying stuff at the store before I run out of it," Mari said to herself as she turned her attention back to the cabinet. In the farthest corner of the shelf, she saw a collection of small bottles and a few larger ones behind them. She began to pull them out and noticed that she couldn't see what was in them and they weren't labeled. She set all of these bottles on the counter and examined them closely. She opened one of the bigger bottles first and spilled some of the seeds that she saw it contained on the counter.  
"Asian Poppy Seeds?" Mari said to herself, confused. She put the seeds back in and opened one of the smaller bottles. She sniffed the contents and almost dropped the bottle in surprise. Morphine.  
"What?!" Mari began to put two and two together. She hurriedly shoved the morphine and seed bottles back into their place. As she did this her hand brushed something that she hadn't noticed before. She grabbed the bundle that was wrapped in a dark cloth which was why she had missed it before. She unwrapped it and saw about ten hypodermic needles carefully wrapped in separate clothes to prevent the breakage of the needles. She wrapped the needles again and placed them back in cabinet. She stowed a bottle of the morphine in the waist of her skirt and continued cleaning, thinking about what she had just found.  
***  
Erik began to walk home from the managers office where he had just dropped off his notes from the day's rehearsal. The orchestra was good but they still had a lot to learn. He walked down the hallways with his hands in his pockets and looking at the different things he passed with a half lucid interest. He arrived at his door fifteen minutes later and heard piano music.  
"Mari must be done," he thought to himself as he walked in. Mari kept playing. He couldn't quite tell what it was but it was a beautiful song.  
"Hello Erik," she said without ceasing the flowing melody of the song.  
"Hi," He said as he walked to the kitchen to get a glass of wine and saw food cooking on the stove. "Is this dinner?"  
"Yes. It is all ready I was just keeping it warm," she stood and walked toward him giving him a small peck on the cheek as she made her way to the stove to put their food on plates. They enjoyed a nice dinner full of pleasant conversation and when they finished Erik did the dishes since Mari had cleaned all day. When he finished, he saw Mari sitting at their writing desk scribbling out some music notes that had just come into her mind. He poured himself another glass of wine and made his way over to the couch and sat. It was quiet for a few minutes but Erik found he enjoyed it. Mari began to ask about the orchestra and Erik gladly obliged answers. Soon the conversation switched to him asking how the cleaning went. She said it was good and began to list off some things that she was going to throw away but wanted to ask him first. He downed the last bit of his wine and listened intently.  
"You can throw that all away,"  
"Okay," Mari stood and walked over to the couch right behind Erik. He could feel her presence behind him and asked if there was anything of interest that she found, knowing that there was a ton of odd trinkets that were laying around forgotten for a long time.  
"Not really but I want to ask you something," Mari asked as she leaned in closer to him. He couldn't see her but he could feel her gentle breaths on the back of his neck.  
"Okay,"  
"Why," she said as she withdrew the morphine from her waist band and held it level to his eyes her voice changing from pleasant and sweet to flat with streaks of anger in it, "do you have bottles of morphine, hypodermic needles, and the ingredients to make hundreds of these bottles worth of morphine?"  
Erik stared at the bottle feeling himself inhale sharply.  
"Where did you find that?"  
"My question first buster," she said as she straightened and moved herself around to the front of the couch so she could look him in the eyes. There was an awkward silence which was finally broken by Erik.  
"Fine," Mari sat with her arms crossed, obviously waiting for his explanation. Erik took a deep breath and looked at the floor as he began his story.  
"I used to use morphine to dull my emotional pain. It brings across a state of euphoria and one of the side affects is sleepiness. I used it when Christine left several times. There was even one time during one of your early lessons when I had taken a very small amount before I went and took more when I got home to dull the emotional pain I still felt. It was the only way to keep myself from going on angry rampages and having completely unbearable days. I needed something to dull it. I just needed something to dull it and hope that one day I might accidentally mix too much and not wake up. I haven't used it since you pronounced your love for me though. I never enjoyed it but I found that it worked so I did it every time I had such strong feelings that I couldn't hande them,"  
The stern look on Mari's face turned to a softer more sympathetic look as Erik told his story but she remained as adamant as ever.  
"Why are you keeping it then," Erik was silent but Mari knew the answer. "I am not going to leave you Erik. I won't put you through the type of pain she put you through. Why must you be so untrustful?"  
"I'm not trying to I just... this face," he said ripping his mask from his face while his voice rose slightly to accent his rising emotions. "it has frightened every person I have ever known away. Once someone sees it they leave. Even my own mother couldn't bear to look at my face! I keep it because..." his next words were lost as his head fell into his hands and tears began to stream from his eyes like a river. Mari embraced him and tried to comfort him though his sobs. As her arms wrapped around his shoulders, he twisted so that his face became buried in her shoulder, his cries racking not only his but her body too. "Mari I am so sorry, I'm sorry," he sputtered out through the tremorous sobs. The only thing she could do was sit there until he stopped crying. 

Eventually Erik's sobbing wore down to some streaming tears and the occasional sniffle.  
"Erik you needn't worry. I won't leave you. I promise. You can keep this stuff to I just don't want you using it. Who know it might come in handy one day," Mari said trying to reassure Erik.  
"I know,"  
"It will all be okay Erik," she took his hand in hers and she laid her head on his shoulder, completely content to just sit there with him. Soon enough they were both asleep and his mask fell to the floor unnoticed by anyone.  
***  
Erik woke early the next morning, his eyes still slightly puffy from his episode the night before. He looked down at Mari who had migrated from his shoulder to his lap as the night had progressed and was sleeping soundly with her head cradled against the crease where his upper leg met his hip. As he looked at her he felt a little embarressed about what had happened the night before but he knew that Mari knew why he did it. He saw his mask past Mari's head but didn't make a move to pick it up. He didn't want to wear it today. Mari began to stir so Erik sat as still as he could in case she wasn't done sleeping which she apparently wasn't since she snuggled in closer to him and resumed sleeping. As she moved, the morphine bottle fell from her waistband and onto the couch. Erik stared at it for a few seconds then picked it up. It looked the same as it had when he had last used it. As he looked at the bottle he noticed that Mari had been composing a song when he had walked in the night before. He smiled at the music in Mari's neat hand writing. The silent moments were enjoyed only by Erik but he was okay with that. Mari began to stir again but this time she woke up. Erik hurriedly put the bottle on the coffee table and sat back up so Mari could sit up. Mari rolled onto her back and just looked into his face.  
"Good Morning Erik,"  
"Good morning dear," he said without looking her in the eye, still embarrased about what had transpired the night before.  
"Erik..." She said as she reached her hand up and placed it on the side of his face, gently turning his head so he was looking at her. "Don't feel bad about last night, okay. I know that you were afraid that I would freak out because you thought that I wouldn't trust you but I understand. Don't worry," With that she pulled him in close and kissed him. Since neither of them had anything of much inportance to do that day, they stayed like that for almost an hour until they both started getting restless. They enjoyed each others company for most of the day then went for a walk in a nearby park once the sun had begun to set. The only thing that hampered their day was some very upolite person exhausting fumes of some sort out of his building just as they were walking by. This caused both Mari and Erik to go into a coughing fit but they soon recovered and, after a few explicit words said by Erik directed at the inpolite man, were on their way. Soon enough they were home and enjoying a lovely dinner of steak and baked potatoes prepared by Erik. He was a rather good cook and Mari liked it when he cooked for her. When they finished their dinner Erik sat at his piano and sang for her for a little while until they both got tired and diecided to call it a night. They went to bed and fell asleep unaware of what was going to happen the very next day.  
***  
Mari woke up the next morning and saw that she was looking right into Erik's face. Moments afer she woke he woke too. As they exchanged their plesantries, Erik's voice sounded a little raspy and quiet but Mari didn't think anything of it. At least until he tried to sing. After they got out of bed and got dressed and had breakfast and did everything most people do before they go to work, Erik sat at his piano and began to practice for an opera so he could tell the managers everything that the performers were doing wrong. Mari went into their room and began to tidy it up while listening to the beautiful piano music that was eminating from the livining room. Erik started to sing but nothing but a hoarse croak emitted from his throat. Thrown off a little by this he cleared his throat and tried again. After a few unsuccessful tries, the look of horror on his face was evident. His hand was on his throat and his eyes were wide behind his mask. He tried to sing a scale but found his voice unresponsive. His confusion and horror quickly turned to anger at this new development and he jumped up from his stool so quickly that the stool flipped onto its side making a very loud crashing sound. Mari rushed out wondering what had made the sound and saw Erik standing in the middle of the room with his hand on his throat franctically searching for something.  
"Erik what's wrong!" Mari exclaimed in concern.  
"My voice is gone woman! The only good thing about me is gone!" He croaked out angrily finally finding what he was searching for. Something throw. He found a simple trinket that was laying next to his piano and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. The glass that it was made of shatttered on impact and he found himself on an angry rampage, blind with his fury. Mari stood helpless in the corner, trying to avoid his angry lashes.  
"Erik your voice isn't the only good thing about you! It will come back! Please just calm down!"  
"Don't you understand! My voice IS the only good thing about me! It is the only that comes from that could have come from heaven! Everything else was hellborn!" He yelled as he threw another object against the wall. He was getting angrier and Mari had to think quickly if she wanted to prevent the entire house from being destroyed. Suddenly she remembered the morphine. Mari rushed to the cabinet so she could keep him from using it. She pressed herself against the counter as Erik got closer to her  
"And you know what else.." he said as he got within arms reach of her. The rest of his words were lost as he pushed her aside and ripped open the cabinet. Mari grabbed his arm but he wrenched from her grasp. She stumbled backward and caught herself on the counter. She could only watch as he ripped a syringe and bottle from the cabinet, filling the syringe. She softly called his name as she watched him plunge the needle into his arn and release the liquid. There was silence for a moment.  
"Mari" he said quietly as he began to feel the effects of the morphine. Tears began to stream down his face as he stumbled toward their bedroom. Mari watched as he went into their room and closed the door. As soon as she heard the door close, she grabbed her cloak and ran out the front door. She ran all the way the manager's office hoping and praying that one of them would be there. She rushed past a few stagehands all of whom waved at her or said 'hello' but she was running to fast to answer and had too many thoughts clouding her mind to care. Soon she was knocking furiously on the office door. She yelled out Crépin's and Delcroix's names as she knocked and finally the door began to open. As soon as Mari saw Crépin's face, she grabbed his arm and dragged him behind her all the way to the other side of the building to where the doctor was.  
"Ms. Astier what is the meaning of this?!" Crépin asked between laboured breaths as Mari began knocking on the doctor's door.  
"I will explain everything in a second," When the doctor opened the door, Mari did the same thing she did with Crépin. Both of the very confused men followed her all the way down to her home. As soon as Mari opened the front though, Crépin and the doctor realized that something was really wrong. There were shards of glass everywhere and on the countertop laid a syringe. Not things you normally saw around the Astier household. Mari rushed the men inside and showed them to what they asumed was her and Erik's bedroom.  
"Stay out here until I get you okay. He might have his mask off and I know that he would not want you to see him without it," With that Mari opened the door just enough so that she could squeeze in and shut the door behind her. She saw Erik laying on the bed with his mask off and in his hand as one hand barely touched the floor. Mari grabbed his mask and placed it on his face. He was out cold and she knew the exact reason. She turned and walked to the door opening it so that she was standing in the doorway but could still talk to the two men that were standing there.  
"Erik lost his voice somehow and went on a completely frenzied rampage. He managed to give himself morphine which knocked him out cold. He is still out but I want you there when he wakes up okay. I need someone to tell him it's not permanent because he didn't believe me.  
"Ms. Astier where did you get morphine?" the doctor asked quite interested in how she got hold of morphine.  
"It was left over from an operation I had years ago," Mari said lying effectivley. She knew that telling the doctor the truth would not be the best idea. Afterall, how would it sound to say that my husband made morphine after his first love left him to bury his emotional pains.  
"Okay just be carful administering it to other people. You.."  
"I know doctor now please come in quietly," Crépin and the doctor filed in quietly and sat in some chairs that Mari had placed next to the bed. Mari sat down in the bed next to Erik. The two men passed the time until Erik woke by quietly discussing different things but Mari had her mind on other, more important issues. She was amazed at how such a great man could be reduced to this over something so small. "Oh Erik," She kept think over and over again just wondering why his life had to have been so cruel to him. A half hour had passed and Erik hadn't so much as moved a muscle so Mari decided to try and wake him up. She gently place her hands on his shoulders and began to softly shake him while calling his name. After doing this few times Erik began to wake up.  
"M-M-Mari?" He asked very weakly and still in a daze.  
"Yes Erik it's me. The doctor is here and he is going to tell you what is wrong,"  
"Okay,' Erik barely managed to stutter as the morphine had slurred his speech. The doctor stood and took a pen light out of his bag. He stood next to Erik who let his jaw hang slack as he drifted in and out of concsiouness. As the doctor looked in Erik's thorat he just said "I thought so,"  
"What?" Mari looked at Crépin who returned her look of confusion since they had said this at the exact same time.  
"Laryngitis. It will be gone in two or three days. Don't worry it's not permanent. don't let him over exert his voice though,"  
"Thank you doctor," The doctor replied your welcome and showed himslef to the door. Mari and Crépin watched him leave. When they heard the door close Crépin was the first to speak.  
"Why do you need me here?"  
"I thought it would be good to have one of Erik's friends here too. He says that you are almost as good a friend as the Persian was," Mari waved off his confused look over her mention of the Persian. She didn't want to open that can of worms at the moment.  
"Well I'm touched,"  
"You should be. Erik doesn't consider anyone his friend unless they really and truly are," Crépin thought for a moment. This must be why he was more open with him and had a longer fuse than he did with Delcroix.  
"He will be out of it for a while I suppose. Do you want some tea, coffee, or wine while we wait?"  
"A glass of wine sounds superb Mrs. Astier thank you," Mari stood leaving Crépin alone with Erik.  
"Mabye one day you will tell me the whole story," he said quietly to himself. He felt like he hardly knew Erik eventhough Erik seemed to know a lot more about him. Mari returned with a glass fo wine and cup of tea. She handed the wine to Crépin who accepted in graciously and sat back down next to Erik who was still out.  
"How long do you think that morphine will last," Crépin thought out loud.  
"I don't know,"  
"Mari where did you actually get the morphine. I have known you since you came here to this concert hall and you have never had an operation before in your life," Mari sighed knowing that of all people Crépin would have been able to spot her deciet. Since she had come to the opera house Crépin had been like an uncle to her. He had been the only one who could mke her laugh after her parents died.  
"Erik made it. He used to use it to bury his emotional pain especially after Christine left him,"  
"Oh," he knew the story behind all of this. He couldn't understand how anyone could stand just to rip his heart out like that. Erik seemed like he had so much to give he just had to be given a chance. As Crépin examined Erik's still masked face he saw the faintest twicth in his face.  
"Mari I think he's starting to come to,"  
Mari immedietly deposited her tea on her night stand and scooted in closer to Erik.  
"She is such a faithful wife," Crépin thought.  
Mari carefully picked Erik's head up and put it in her lap and stroked his hair to try and gently wake him up. Erik's eyes began to open and he muttered "Mari?"  
"Yes Erik it's me," As Erik opened his eyes he saw Mari's face hovering over him. A heavy fog clouded his mind and made his thoughts sparse and unorganized. When he spoke he sounded drunk and his limbs felt heavy and tired. The one he took must have been a little stronger than what he was used to. He bent his left arm at the elbow and barely placed his hand on Mari's arm. He could feel her fingers running through his hair but was gradually becoming less aware of his surroundings. The morphine was having a very strong effect on him but it was keeping his emotions in check so he couldn't complain to much. Through his haze he could hear Mari asking someone if they could have a minute alone.  
"Of course. Call if you need anything though dear," said the other person. Erik's clouded brain couldn't place the voice but knew it sounded familiar. He faintly heard the door close and slowly began to tighten his grip on Mari's arm so he could stay in reality.  
"Erik how are you feeling?" Mari asked but her question went right through his mind not even registering before it was discarded. He couldn't get his voice to utter more than a few incomprehensible syllables but Mari seemed to understand. He could feel his mask being peeled away from his face but he was to far under to resist. His hand fell back to the bed as Mari shifted to place his mask on his nightstand. As she resumed her original position, she looked at Erik. After a few moments she leaned over his head and kissed him on the lips. As she pulled away she whispered in his ear  
"I'll wake you later," With that she stood and left the room leaving Erik to fall back into the unnatural unconciousness induced by the morphine.  
***  
Crépin closed the door gently as he left the room of Erik and Mari. He had never seen Erik this low. He had always been a rather formidable person, someone you wouldn't want to rile. It was amazing that such a little thing like laryngitis could reduce such an intelligent man to this. Crépin made his way to their couch where he sat and admired the piano in the center of the room. It's ivory keys contrasted brilliantly with it's ebony exterior. At the moment the lid and cover were closed but he imagined what it would look like with the cover up and someone of great skill sitting at it playing a haunting melody to match the mood in the room. His daydreaming was interrupted as Mari came out of the bedroom. She silently made her way over to the kitchen where the opened bottle of morphine still lay on it's side, probably knocked over in her hurry. Crépin watched as she grabbed a rag from a cabinet beneath the sink and wiped the last of the liquid off of the counter. She poured the remaining bit of morphine down the sink and rinsed the bottle out. She put it in the sink to be cleaned more later but continued on to rinsing the morphine out of the rag. This was when she began to speak.  
"I didn't know something so trivial could mean so much to Erik," she said with a slight catch in her throat. "I mean he still has his genius and his playing ability and so much more I just don't understand," Mari was beginning to talk faster like fitting more words into a second would ward off the tears that threatened to appear. She was wringing the rag so hard Crépin was amazed that it didn't rip from stress.  
"My dear it will be alright. You have to understand why he is the way he is. To him his voice is the only part of him that is worthy of anyone, especially you. His fears may be irrational but his reasons behind them are quite rational," Crépin said trying to comfort Mari but realized that he had said a little much.  
"What do you mean the reasons are rational?" As far as Mari knew the only people who knew about his past were herself, Christine, the Persian, Mdm. Giry (another person she had never met but had heard delightful stories about) and Erik.  
"Uhh," Crépin stammered searching for an excuse but Mari's calculating stare would have been able to stare through any facade. He sighed. "I made acquaintance with his friend the Persian shortly after the disaster at the Opera Populaire. I knew I would need help to decide what would be the best for this concert hall. I learned a fair bit from Erik himself too but some blanks were filled by the Persian," he explained a little reluctantly as not even Erik knew this little fact about Crépin. The expression on Mari's face was incredibly hard to read as she turned and laid the rag across the divider in the sink so it could dry.  
"I knew that you had more knowledge about Erik's past life than you let on. Thank you for being here," She leaned in and gave him a hug. It felt like when she was a teen again. Crépin was the one she would go to for everything. She was so glad to have met him. "Would you tell me why his fears are supported?"  
"You should know. Christine fell in love with his voice but when she saw his face the love turned to fear than to pity. He doesn't want that to happen to you,". Mari thought his answer over realizing how close it was to hers. Than another question popped into her head.  
"Why weren't you surprised when you found out that Erik had used Morphine?"  
"Because I caught him stumbling around the concert hall one time when he first started living here and I asked why he was so disoriented. I still don't know the reason but he told me nearly everything. He told me how he was having an emotional low and he was on morphine. I didn't tell anyone and I doubt he still remembers,".  
"Huh," was all Mari said in response. Seeing that he couldn't be of much more comfort than he already was on the subject, he attempted the change the conversation. It worked and they talked for another half hour before he noticed that Mari's mind was somewhere else.  
"Well I think I should be going now. You know business things,"  
"Oh okay. Thanks again for being here I can't tell you how much this means to me. Will you come back tomorrow?"  
"Of course dear," With that he showed himself to the door and left to return his office.  
***  
Mari watched as Crépin closed the door. As she stood in the kitchen next to the sink she reminisced in what she had with Erik. She went back to their bedroom and, as she saw Erik, felt the premature fear that he was dead that she had felt when she first walked in. He was so still she could hardly make out if he was breathing or not in the dark. As she approached him she could see that his skin was paler than usual and his clothes were rumpled. Much like they were that morning when he left her standing in the kitchen. She sat down next to him on her side of the bed. As she scooted toward him, she gently lifted his head so that when she got as close as she could to him she laid his head on her lap. She ran her fingers through his ink black hair untangling a few knots with her fingers. She looked at his face and found she couldn't look away. Tears began to fill her eyes as she thought. Under the twisted folds of skin that covered his face. Behind his missing nose. Beneath his deformity, there was a musical genius that had been forced to hide from the world. He had been so lonely and misunderstood his entire life that he thought his voice was the only thing about him that could be considered good. Mari's gaze was averted as she noticed a small wet spot on the chest of his shirt and she noticed it was growing by the second. It was then that she realized that she was crying. She slowly laid her head on his chest and let the tears of so many years come out. It had been such a long time since she had cried. Probably not since she was twenty three and her guardian had yelled at her and called her ugly because she was playing the piano. She had been having a bad day anyway. Mari could feel the rivers of tears on her face but made no motion to stop them. She didn't even make an attempt. Every event that had ever caused her hidden tears of anger or sadness came out. She let this event overcome everything else and soon she could feel her entire body being shook with tremors from her crying. Suddenly, she felt a hand run through her hair. She lifted her face just enough to see Erik's face. He was indeed awake but she wasn't sure if he was up to talking just yet.  
"Oh, Erik..." She said, shifting from where she was to where her head was on his shoulder and her arms were folded under her, palms flat against his chest. And she cried.  
***  
When Erik had first started waking, he could feel a weight on his chest. His shirt felt wet too which was odd in his mind because he knew he was inside. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Mari's hunched body as she cried letting his shirt absorb her tears. As soon as he saw her, he felt a pang of guilt. How could he cause her this much pain. He ran a hand through her hair knowing that this would be a quiet way to alert her to his new found conciousness. As soon as she saw he was awake she buried her face in his shoulder and kept crying. Erik wrapped his arms around her and whispered calming words in her ear. He gently played with her hair and held her close waiting until the tears stopped. Ten minutes later, her tears stopped. Erik continued to hold her though. He held her until she pushed herself up out of his arms so she could grab her handkerchief. She dabbed at her eyes wiping up her remaining tears.  
"Mari I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this. Especially not to you," his voice was still hoarse which ticked him off but if what the doctor said was true, his voice would be back in a couple days. He figured he could wait that long.  
"It's alright Erik. I know why..." Erik cut her off before she could finish her thought.  
"No its not. I shouldn't have done that I know why I did it but I should have trusted you. I should have known that voice or not you would still love me,"  
Erik tried to sit up but still felt very weak. Mari helped him up but he found it increasingly difficult to just sit up. He looked at the clock. Five in the evening. He had been out since ten. The morphine should have mostly worn off my now.  
"How much did I use?" Erik asked Mari wondering how much could possibly have this effect.  
"I don't know maybe a little more than half of the syringe. I poured most of the stuff down the drain," Mari replied a little worried knowing he couldn't possibly have given himself too much.  
"That must have been one of my more potent ones. It's fine I'll just be a little out of it for another few hours,"  
"Oh," Mari sat back on the bed. She set her gaze on the wall in front of her but soon found her gaze averting itself to rest on his face. She stood quite abruptly, startling Erik.  
"Mari?"  
"I have to go out. Don't wait up," She answered as she rushed out of the room. Erik managed to push himself up far enough to see the door close just as he heard the slam. Confused as to what had just transpired he fell back onto the bed, hot tears stinging his eyes. Had he just ruined everything?  
***  
Mari ran through the twisting labyrinth of hallways in the concert hall. It was getting late and there were no performances that night so the halls were almost empty. She sprinted past a few people hardly noticing their presence. As she ran her foot snagged a costume sending half of the rack flying but she hardly noticed and kept running. She ran until her lungs burned and her legs ached. She ran until she flew threw the door leading to the roof and found herself laying across one of the large ledges separating the roof from the sheer drop. She felt the cool evening breeze on her face and the still warm cement under her arms. She tried to catch her breath but found it excedingly difficult. He legs were burning with exertion and her heart was beating furiously. She looked out across the town seeing the rooftops that were a glow under the evening sun. As her heart rate dropped back down to its usual tempo, Mari felt the tears come again. The feeling of nausea and imminent confinement were leaving her and she began to relax but she then realized those things were what were holding her tears back. The dark blotches on the cement were growing as her tears hit them and she suddenly felt very weak. About ten minutes after she emerged from the door on the far side of the roof, she began to calm down. The tears were slowing. Suddenly she saw a shape out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head to the left slightly just in enough time to see Erik sit down next to her with a grunt. He hung his head and placed his hand on his forehead. He ran the same hand through his hair as he brought his head up and looked at Mari. He didn't say anything though. He knew it was his fault but he wasn't ending their relationship. She would have to do it (mostly because he couldn't do it even if he wanted to which he didn't). Mari seemed to know what he was expecting and a horrified look washed over her eyes.  
"Erik I'm not going to leave you! I..I,"  
"You what,"  
"I had to escape. I had a flashback that I would have rather never had and remembered something that I thought I had forgotten. I'm sorry I never wanted you to think I would leave you. You don't deserve that and I would never leave you. Never," With that she fell back into his arms the tears threatening her but not coming. Erik wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.  
"I'm sorry Erik," Erik remained silent for he feared that if he spoke the catch in his throat would become apparant. A few minutes later they stood and admired the sunset together. Noticing the time on her pocket watch, Mari turned to leave but Erik grabbed her arm and pulled her back around.  
"Can you tell me what happened? Please?"  
Mari hesitated. This was something she had never told anyone. Not even Erik. There was but one person who knew but he was dead and had been for many years.  
"Do you remember when I told you how my parents died?"  
"Yes," Erik answered already dreading what she was about to tell him. If something he did brought a memory from her parents death he wasn't sure what he would do or say or anything.  
"Well I told you, as I tell everyone, that one of the horses spooked and this tipped their carriage which sent it tumbling into a lake below where both of my parent drowned," Mari said as she turned her shoulder to him and once again looked out over the rooftops. "Well the one thing I didn't tell you or anyone is that the horse didn't spook. After the accident I was told that the driver had indeed survived and was in the hospital. He wanted to talk to me. I went to the hospital and he was in a terrible state of disrepair. Both of his legs were broken and he had several broken ribs. It was later found out that one of his lungs was punctured and he died. Anyway, he told me that the crash was his fault. He had taken morphine because he had just had an operation and was in pain. He was supposed to take work off but his boss requested he drive. The owner of that taxi company was a real jerk. He started to feel drowsy and he was beginning to fall asleep when a bump in the road jerked him awake, his hands instinctually flew up which startled the horses and they reared which caused the carriage to roll. I remember sitting there quietly crying looking at my hands clasped over my lap. The doctor came in with a bottle of morphine and made to give it to him but he refused. The doctor left and I asked him why. Why did he want to endure so much pain. He told me he didn't want to ever see that horrid liquid that made him do something so awful. He would rather endure the pain of death than feel the sweet respite the morphine brought. I quietly stood and said thank you. He said I wanted you to know. I left and that was that. I forgave him though. I actually blamed the boss. I told a policeman and the guys boss got fired. I haven't told anyone though. Can you imagine enduring that much pain because of guilt for something that wasn't technically your fault," she shed a single tear as Erik processed what she had just said. Morphine was the cause of her parents death and he was stupid enough to have used it in front of her. "Don't get rid of it Erik. You can keep it. I just... Seeing you laying there just brought back so many memories that I couldn't handle it,"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes,"  
Erik turned and looked out over the city. He sighed.  
"What is it?" Mari asked.  
"Nothing. Let's go back," Mari knew he was lying but didn't argue.  
***  
They arrived back in their home at about nine o'clock and immediately went to sleep. Mari fell asleep in Erik's arms. He didn't though. He pretended to until Mari was in a deep sleep. When he was positive that she was asleep, he quietly stood and left the room. He snuck into the kitchen and pulled out all of the bundles of morphine and a syringe. He poured all but two of the bottles down the sink. He put the other two back but, before he placed the last one, he opened it. He stuck the needle and drew out about an eighth of the amount he usually used. He put the bottle back in the cabinet and set the syringe carefully on the counter. Next he turned to the wine cabinet and pulled out one of the bottles. He poured himself a glass, grabbed the syringe and went to the couch. He set the glass containing the wine and the syringe containing the morphine down on the table in front of him. He sat with his his chin on his hands and stared at them. With the wine he could have a plesant night, wouldn't feel as bad for what he had done and it would be completely proper. On the other hand the morphine would make him sleep and dull any and all emotions until they were no more. Which one. This used to be a frequent question but it wasn't anymore.  
"I can't do this anymore," he thought putting his face in his hands. He felt his face minus the mask and felt a small twinge of anger but he surpressed it. He didn't have any intention of using either thing but the woman who stood at their bedroom door thought so.  
"Erik what are you doing?!" It was a halfway rhetorical question and her voice was a little loud for it to be anything but scared.  
"Nothing," he said as he continued to stare at the objects. Mari continued on to the couch and sat next to him looking at the objects themselves.  
"Why are you staring at wine and morphine?"  
"These are the two things my life has usually narrowed down to. Morphine or wine. I don't particularly like either but wine is good with dinner and morphine is nice when you want nothing more but to cease living. Both have happened," Surprise was apparant on Mari's face.  
"You wanted die before?!"  
"Yes I always believed that a cruel trick was played on me. Give me a marvelous talent and a voice like no other but make my face so horrible that I can never ever reach my full potential,"  
He stood and grabbed both the wine and the syringe. Making his way back to the kitchen. He took a sip of wine then poured the rest down the sink. He then yanked the plunger out of the syringe and poured the morphine down after the wine. He then tossed the syringe in the trash. Mari noticed all of the empty morphine bottles in the sink when she walked up behind him.  
"I got rid of all the morphine except for two bottles and the seeds. I promise I will never use it unless absolutely medically necessary,"  
"Thank you,"  
***  
They returned to bed but Erik couldn't sleep. What was wrong with him. He couldn't keep doing this. He rolled onto his side and looked at the clock. It read four a.m. Never mind sleep he thought as he carefully got out of bed. He threw on one of his white poet's shirts and a pair of black slacks. He put on his boots and swung his cloak over his shoulders as he left their comfortable home. He slowly walked down the hallways not thinking about anything in particular other than the occasional thought of everything he was a doing wrong. He didn't have to worry about running into people because it was so early in the morning. As he wandered he saw many things he hadn't noticed before. The paintings of famous actors and actresses and singers and musicians that adorned the walls were older the farther he got from the stage and newer the closer he got. Interesting. He continued to walk and just kept wandering. He must have walked for two hours before he finally made his way to the catwalk and sat just looking out over the stage and the audience. He could be on any stage like this playing any leading man's role if he had only been born with a decent face. He could do so many things. As he sat in desperate thought he noticed swirling black fabric down on the stage. He looked closer and saw that it was the first chair violinist from the orchestra. The stage was set up for an orchestra performance that was to take place the next day. Mari was playing first chair violin so technically this girl, Emilie Lajoie Erik seemed to remember that this was her name, was second. Many people asked Mari how she did so much and she always replied I love it so much I can never get enough of it. Erik watched her closely as she stealthily made her way across the stage. She had a black cloak on covering a charcoal grey dress. Her shoes made a slight clicking sound on the stage as she made her way to the front row where the first violins and flutes sat. He watched as she pulled a silver hand saw from beneath her skirts and began to saw at the leg of one of the chairs. When she finished her job she lathered the hole with black paint and left. Erik quietly dropped down to the stage with the assistance of a background rope and examined the chair. He counted and saw that this was Mari's seat. He pulled it out replacing it with another one of the extra chairs and put in front of the stage. He noticed some sand bags that were usually used to weight the ropes lying in wait of being used for something. He picked two of the them up and sat them on the chair. Nothing he put another two and nothing. Finally after placing six bags on the chair it gave way. 60 lbs. It would have never supported anyone. Erik was wondering about what the woman's intentions were but didn't take it to seriously. Besides, it was time to get back home.  
***  
When Mari woke she immediately knew that Erik was no longer there. She quickly got up and dressed herself and rushed into the living room hoping he would be there. He wasn't. She looked at the clock and noticed that it was time to go to rehearsal. When she grabbed her cloak, the rack looked very empty. She then realized Erik must be out. She grabbed her violin and left, quickly walking down the hallway. As she turned the corner she walked right into someone. She would have fallen onto the ground if not for Erik's strong hand grasping her arm and pulling her steady.  
"Where have you been?! I have been looking all over for you!" Mari exclaimed, angered by him just leaving for no apparent reason.  
"I'm sorry I just needed to be alone. I am going home now. I will see you after rehearsal," Erik turned to walk down the hallway but, when he turned the first corner and he knew Mari could no longer see him, he stopped and waited for her to continue on. He was going to watch their rehearsal not just for work but because he was growing suspicious of that second chair violinist. The concert was that night surprisingly. Mari had been practicing so much Erik was surprised that her violin couldn't play it itself. He peeked around the corner to see if Mari had left and, when he saw that she had, went back toward the cat walk of the theater. As he made his way up he could hear the tuning of instruments. Just as he arrived in the cat walk, Mari sat down. Erik watched smugly as Emilie Lajoie's face went from a triumphant shine to a look of pure confusion.  
"Probably a simple prank," Erik thought. But then he noticed as he watched rehearsal that many things were going wrong. When she went move her music stand up, her hand returned black from something smeared on the stand. When she would place a pencil on the stand in front of her and turn to grab something else her pencil would go missing. Things like this went on the entire two hour rehearsal but only Erik knew it was Emilie. Rehearsal ended and there was about two hours until the performance.  
"I had better catch up with Mari," Erik thought to himself but then noticed that Emilie was taking a rather long time packing up her things. He stealthily slid down a rope behind one of the wings and watched her from the shadows. She approached the spot where he hid and looked around. She didn't see anyone and, apparently satisfied that she was alone, returned to the set up. There were no lights on the stage at that moment so the only light was right on the set up. The rest of the stage disappeared into hazy lines of darkness. This made sneaking around the stage quite easy. Most of the instrument cases were lined around the stage so that the instruments didn't need to be moved and little glitches with the instrument could be remedied immediately. Erik walked in the darkness until he was standing right next to all of the cases. He saw Emilie walk over to the cases and scrutinize every one of the violin cases like she was looking for a particular one. A quiet yes came from her as she kneeled down in front of the right one. Mari's violin. He was close but began to get closer so he could see exactly what she was doing. Emilie pulled a small silver knife from her skirt pocket and undid it. As soon as Erik realized her intentions he reached a hand out to stop her. The knife had just barely touched the fingerboard and strings of the violin before it was yanked away and tossed haphazardly to the side.  
"Hey!!! Let go of me!!!" Emilie shouted, surprised by his sudden appearance.  
"I most certainly will not! You were trying to sabotage a fellow musician! I am bringing to you Crépin and Delcroix right now!" Erik said loudly back. He was not about to let this little brat let her jealousy get in the way of Mari's pure musical talent. Emilie stuggled against him but his grip was to strong. He dragged her along behind him all the way up to the managers office. He didn't even bother knocking. He walked in and exclaimed his dipleasure with the entire situation.  
"Crépin! Delcroix! We have something to discuss regarding this child,"  
"I am not a child!" Emilie angrily said. She was almost twenty one after all.  
"Only a child would do what you did because you were surpassed in talent,"  
"Your only saying that because your her husband,"  
"Prudent silence is wise in situations like this my dear," Erik said dangerously, daring her to speak again.  
"What is the meaning of this O.G! Why are you dragging poor Ms. Lajoie by the arm! What is going on!!!" Delcroix asked confused and irritated at the ghost's complete lack of manners.  
"She, poor Ms. Lajoie," Erik said, mocking Delcroix and sitting Emilie down in a chair "was just found trying to sabotage Ms. Astier's violin. Here is the knife she was going to use," he added, tossing the knife onto their desk. "I will now leave you to discuss this with her and come up with a reasonable punsihment. I think removing her from the orchestra would be fitting," Erik was about to turn and leave when he saw the look on her face. It was a combination of hate and anguish. Tears were beginning to fill her eyes as she realized how much her dream had cost her.  
"You don't understand to have everything you love stripped from you! You don't know anything except your perfect life! What do you know about hardship or working to get somewhere! What do you know about having to work for something you wanted so desperately you could feel it with your every sense and when you've almost achieved it, you are foiled by someone who doesn't deserve it as much as you but gets it anyway!!!" Emilie was yelling at Erik. She had worked her entire life to be first chair violin at this concert hall. Her entire life was dedicated to it and she had the position for two weeks. Her entire life for two weeks. Erik got quiet. His superior presence filled the room as his anger bubbled and began to spill over. The managers shrank into the corner knowing that the most dangerous Erik was the quiet one. Erik seemed to grow another two inches. He looked at Emilie with such an icy glare, she could feel her blood freeze. The silence was growing but not at all uncomfortable. Not in the least. But it was very, very, foreboding.  
"You don't think I know what hard ship is. You think I had a perfect life," Erik seethed, his voice overflowing with and immeasurable amount of malice and scorn but still rather quiet which made it all the scarier. He leaned in close to her and his voice began to grow in volume. "Why do you think I wear a mask you insolent girl! I do not simply wear it for a fashion statement! If you ever saw behind the mask you would never doubt my hardships again! I have had many things taken from me because of it! Many things that I worked very hard for! Now if you can't bear being second chair then you had better get out now because this is the real world. Grow up,". With the Erik left the room. His blood was boiling and his pulse was pounding in his ears as his anger grew. That insolent child he thought. As he left the tears were beginning to stream down Emilie's face. The managers were still huddled in the corner not wanting to be anywhere near the ghost when he was angry. Delcroix cleared his throat to ease the silence in the room.  
"Yes, well Ms. Lajoie we have something to discuss it seems," Delcroix said sitting on the edge of his desk and crossing his arms. He had anger and disappointment in his voice but it could never be compared to what Erik had achieved.  
***  
As Erik stormed down the hallway he forgot that Mari would probably be looking for him. He passed a few people but was lost in his own angry thoughts, he didn't notice them. When he got about two floors away from their home he felt a hand grab his shoulder and turn him around. Wrenched from his thoughts, he looked into her hazel eyes that had a twinge of green ringed around the iris at the moment.  
"Hi Mari," his voice still had touches of anger in it even though it wasn't at her.  
"Where were you and why were you watching rehearsal from the catwalk," she was very annoyed with his behavior.  
"Come with me and I will show you why," Erik said grabbing her wrist and pulling her with him back toward the managers office.  
"Okay but why are you so angry?"  
"Everything will be explained in a second," They walked in silence to the managers office. When they approached the door, Mari could hear someone sniffling on the other side of the door.  
"What is going on Erik?"  
"You will see when you go in there. I will follow you but I am going to remain hidden for certain reasons,"  
Mari didn't question but walked forward and opened the door to the managers office. She was surprised to see Emilie Lajoie, eyes puffy from crying, and the managers with very stern expressions on their face. Crépin had an envelope that had Emilie's name on it. They looked up when Mari walked in and their expressions softened a little but not by much.  
"Since my husband is not to keen on direct answers, would you two mind telling me what is going on?!". Mari asked confused and a little agitated at Erik's avoidance of all of her questions.  
"Well Ms. Lajoie here was trying to sabotage you so she could be first chair. It was suggested to us that we fire her but we are still discussing the formalities," Delcroix said very sternly.  
"Is this true Emilie?" Mari asked her, quite surprised by the turn things had taken. Eimilie's only disheartened response was a small and slow nod in confirmation.  
"Why? You can't possibly be judging your own worth on someone else's talent,"  
"Easy for you to say," Emilie said quietly.  
"Why would it be easy for me to say?" Eventhough this sounded like a rhetorical question when she said it, Mari truly did not know what answer the young girl could possibly give.  
"You are so good you are literally perfect. I mean you also had every chance in the world to get good too. You were also lucky to be pitied by the Phantom of the Opera so he would give you lessons get you in the managers radar so that you could get whatever you wanted. You want first chair? Okay. You want Prima Donna position? Okay. It's so unfair when I deserve what you have more than you do!" Erik had finally had enough of this girl's audacity. His voice boomed in the office and caused everyone but Mari to shrink into the corner.  
"How dare you insult my wife and myself!!! I gave her lessons because she is a wonderful musician and for no other reason. Furthermore the only show I ever requested she play the lead for was the first one she ever did. Everything else was on the managers! I want you to leave this concert hall before I have to throw you out! I am making the final desicion since my managers can't seem to make up their minds!"  
"What are you saying?" Emilie asked weakly, tears beginning to fill her eyes.  
"You'r fired!!!" Emilie looked like she had been punched in the gut. "Better luck controlling your jealousy at your next job," with that Erik left the room. Mari turned to leave but snuck one last look at the Emilie before she left. Tears were streaming down her face. Mari knew why she did what she did and silently forgave her as she left the room.  
***  
Erik was storming down the halls at a rather quick pace. Mari had to run most of the way just to catch up to him.  
"Erik! Erik! Stop for a second! Erik!!!" Erik was refusing to stop though. Finally Mari caught up with him and grabbed his arm. This stopped him just long enough that she could slip in front of him and block his passage.  
"What Mari!" This was the first time that he had even come close to raising his voice at her in a while not counting the voice thing the day before.  
"What did she say to you that struck such a chord you were yelling at her like that," Mari said calmly trying to subdue any unwanted reaction to her question. He sighed as he put his right hand on his forehead and closed his eyes. It took him a moment to respond to her question.  
"She said that I had a perfect life and that I didn't know what it felt like to have everything you worked for your entire life ripped away from you because someone better comes along. I know it sounds childish but saying my life was easy is like saying you can play a violin without strings,"  
"Erik it's not childish but...,"  
"And when she said that the only reason I picked you was because of pity! That is untrue. Please believe that! I didn't want you as a student because of pity or anything. I was entranced the first time I heard you play,"  
"I know but...,"  
"And I hate people who think they deserve everything they want. And the fact that she said the managers just give you everything because of me! That is the most absurd..."  
"ERIK!!!"  
"What?"  
"Would you listen for a second? I know it's not your strong suit but it would really benefit you if you practiced it,"  
With a slight humph he quieted and listened to what Mari had to say.  
"Erik I understand why you were peeved but she was on the edge of complete breakdown back there. You have to see her side too,"  
"I do but..." Erik started but Mari cut him off.  
"I do thank you though for stopping her. I appreciate it and I think it is fair that she got fired. I may not be a hundred percent happy about it but I think it is fair," Mari finished what she was saying and looked at him expectantly. Erik remained silent though. He didn't know what to say. To relieve him of the obligation to speak Mari wrapped her arm around his waist and began to walk. He followed as his arm came to rest on her shoulders.  
***  
Crépin and Delcroix were so blown away by the Phantom's angry outburst they were shocked into silence. They stood in silence for several minutes after he left. The only sound was that of Emilie's tears and sobs.  
"Well Ms. Lajoie," Crépin said breaking the silence. "It appears that a desicion has been made,". Emilie was silent. She had ruined everything and made things worse by letting her anger blind her judgment. Crépin held out the envelope that had her name on it and she took it with a shaky hand.  
"Your salary. We are very sorry for having to let you go Ms. Lajoie but we simply cannot tolerate behaviour of this nature. Goodbye," With that Emilie stood and left. She took her time walking down the halls taking in the smells and sights of the concert hall before she would have to leave it. Once she did she was never going to see it again.  
***  
As the couple entered their home, Mari headed to their bedroom. She came out again in less than five minutes completely dressed and ready for the performance.  
"Come on. My makeup is in my dressingroom," She said walking toward the door and motioning Erik to follow her.  
"Hold on," he ran into the bedroom and gabbed the first vest, a dark plum one, and jacket he saw. He came out again and followed Mari all the way to her dressing room.  
"Would you hold these?" He asked Mari as he held out his cloak and jacket. She took them and he put his vest on. He then took his jacket and put it on, quickly followed by his cloak. In no time at all they arrived in Mari's dressing room. Erik made himself comfortable in a chair next to Mari's vanity. They chatted about trivial things while Mari did her hair and makeup.  
"Would you hand me those earrings? The gold ones with the diamonds," Erik found the earrings she asked for and gave them to her. Her outfit was rather strict. The orchestra ladies needed to be wearing a white blouse, black floor length skirt, and 1-inch black heels. All three of these were provided by the concert hall. The ladies were also allowed to wear small studs and had to have their hair pulled back. Mari thanked him and put the earrings in. She returned her attention to her hair which was being rather unruly. She just couldn't get it to stay back.  
"rrr," she grunted in frustration as yet another strand popped out making her hairdo wrong.  
"Here," Erik said taking over. He pulled her hair back in a simple yet beautiful updo in less than a minute and had it pinned and sprayed in less than two.  
"There you go," he said admiring his handiwork. "You're absoulutely beautiful,"  
"Thankyou. How did you get so good with hair and makeup?"  
"Just gifted I guess," Erik answered with a smile.  
"Mabye," Mari returned his smile before glancing at the clock on the wall. "Oh dear! I have to go! I'll see you after the performance!" She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and ran out. She had five minutes until she had to be on stage ready to play. Erik watched her leave as he gently felt the place she had just kissed.  
***  
The performace went off without a hitch and Mari did a fantastic job on her solo in the third song. Erik watched the entire thing from Box 5 and met Mari in her dressing room. As they walked down the hall back to their home, chatting calmly, Erik couldn't help but think how lucky he was. He had a wife who loved him so dearly that even when he did something that threw her off so mch she was reduced to tears, she stayed with him. He couldn't ask for more. As they walked Erik put his arm on her shoulders and pulled her close. She laid her head on his shoulder as he guided her down the labyrinth of halls. The two looked as if nothing terrible had ever occured in their lives and all they knew was happiness. And, in the moment, that way truly all they felt. Happiness


End file.
